Nothing ever stays the same – or maybe it does but I don't. I feel like I am in unknown waters, and its hard to trust my internal sense of direction. Will I float here? Will they find me? Will I find my way back home?

Jesus christ do I miss the road. Luke and I decided to park the van in the northeast this summer, with the idea of plowing through a record (its time, there's too many songs). I don't feel like I belong here anymore. The places are the same, but I'm not... and I miss the people that used to be here.

We did a much deserved and long overdue boys' trip the last few days. Old crew. The one from 2007 – when I moved home with nothing more than a handful of songs and a vague sense of a cubicle free purpose. Luke was in college, and I hijacked his friends. And that's how it was for a long time, Luke, Joey and Derek and myself.

That crew minus Derek formed what became The Big Lonesome. We wrote a bunch, laughed, cried, toured, wrote some more – and then life caught up to us. I got a job, quit, bought a van, Joe moved to the Netherlands, more songs happened, more adventures. More life.

It was great to see everyone... always is. But man am I missing 2007 a whole lot today. I miss the optimism and the excitement of seeing how everything was going to pan out. I could use one more day (or maybe a decade with those guys), but everyone had to work. Derek on his startup, Luke and Joe had a gig, and I had to work on booking our fall tour dates. We're all chasing our dreams, I'm proud of the men we're all developing into, but damn... chasing your dreams can be pretty lonesome.



Chad GosselinComment